People leave their teachers and communities for a variety of reasons:

• You have suffered psychological, sexual, financial, emotional, or other forms of abuse by the teacher.

• You have witnessed other group members suffering psychological, sexual, financial, emotional, or other forms of abuse by the teacher.

• The teacher’s behavior is enabled by an “inner circle” or professional staff who allow the abuse to be hidden, ignored, excused, and continued.

• The community as a whole seems to ignore common sense, ethics, and the need to hold the teacher accountable for harmful actions. Teachings on generosity, compassion, and forgiveness can be misconstrued to justify abuse and disempowerment.

• The teacher and their supporters exhibits symptoms of a personality disorder such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Antisocial Personality Disorder.

• You have realized that your unique spiritual goals are not being addressed in whatever path you were directed to in that community. And, the teacher’s personal needs were prioritized over your own.

Leaving can be traumatic even when it’s the right thing to do for your welfare. It means saying goodbye to the friends who choose to remain. It means acknowledging some of the people you called “friend” really weren’t. It can leave you questioning your ability to make good decisions, and doubting yourself.

Wisdom Within events can be no-pressure, no-commitment opportunities to simply practice meditation in a non-triggering way, and with people who are not out to control you or get anything for you.

However, to help recover from the psychological distress of leaving, and from the abuse you may have endured, it’s important to seek out psychotherapy as well as other wellness modalities. Psychology Today is a good website for finding the right therapist for you.

Attending a new meditation group simply is not sufficient to help you recover.

Not sure what a high-demand group or spiritual abuse looks like?

See the links below:

Secrets of Shambhala: Inside Reggie Ray’s Crestone Cult

The Downfall of Mipham Rinpoche: An analysis on sexual misconduct in the American Buddhist community